Pulled, pummeled and prodded.

The girl sat, almost naked, on a hard plank of wood on the floor, in a tiny bare room in a town in Southern India. She had no idea what was about to happen to her, but all she could think of was her mother's word before she left home.... "Just be careful not to get yourself into any dangerous situations."

OK - so I'm using a bit of literary license to spice up the story, but yes, the girl is me, and I was sitting in that room, and my Mom did say those words! 

The real story is that last Tuesday I went for an Ayurveda massage to help loosen up some of my back muscles. (Ayurveda is the ancient medical system of India, which encompasses the healing of body, mind and spirit through diet, lifestyle and rejuvenation. More of that in another posting). 

A friend here had recommended her massage guy, Madhu, which ironically means sweet and honey. You'll see the irony later. "Oooh Madhu works wonders, my yoga postures have been so much more open since I started going to him," she promised. And, "He's the 14th generation of Ayurveda practitioners in his family," followed the credentials. Well what was I waiting for? I made the call, booked the time and waited eagerly. Before going she did give me one small piece of advice: be prepared for anything to happen. I should have asked her more.

Madhu operates his "body healing" in the lower floor of his house, in 3 very sparse rooms. In the Ayurvedic tradition, the masseur uses a wooden "bed" rather than the comfy massage tables with a hole and nice tissues for our face,  and soft padding that most of us westerners are used to. At Madhu's this "plank" was laid directly on the floor "best way to properly use strength" he explained. Apparently this piece of wood was carved 800 years ago and has been used for massages ever since by Madhu's family. "Many thousands of bodies have lain there before you," he said proudly. I wasn't sure I needed to know that.

Bed of torture

But then all small talk was over. It was off with my clothes (almost all), on with oil, and on with the show. What followed in the next 40 minutes I can only describe as part ritual, part wrestling, part yoga, part stretching, part massage, part ballet. I was this oily slug-like thing, sliding around a varnished wooden surface, one minute in a yogic cobra position with my shoulders being peeled back from my chest, the next with my legs folded up behind me, like a Swiss army knife, as Erik would say.

At one point , I felt my right toe touch the ground on the floor behind my head, even though the rest of my body was  lying flat. "How did that get there?" I remember thinking. "Good, you are getting better," I heard Madhu say, "am I?" I responded, somewhere on the edge of that pleasure-pain threshold.  This was turning into an unexpected work-out. But it was clear that here was a person who knows bodies, muscles, tendons and pressure points so well, and knew exactly how to work them to release locked-in tensions.

I will spare you some of the other "interesting" details, and skip to the closing part. After letting me rest for a few minutes to prepare for fomentation (???) Madhu came back in to the room with a small gas burner. It had a metal plate on top which they use for making rotis in India, and in his hand a small cloth bag knotted at the top. "Are you going to heat up water in the bag?" I asked puzzled. "No, the bag is full of herbs for detoxing," he explained. Then the bag was heated on the plate, smelt like burnt rosemary or something, and rubbed all over my body to release toxins. That part was sooooo good after the wrestling match!

Not as glamorous as raw chicken!

And then it was all over. I lay there, less glamorous than a piece of meat that has been pounded and seasoned on a hard, kitchen surface before being cooked. Every muscle was buzzing, every sinew was twitching, and I couldn't help but ask myself whether my back muscles would actually feel looser once I eventually managed to stand up.

The next day, I felt every part of the massage. The day after that, I had a massage to get over the massage, but this time from the lovely Despina, a fellow yoga student here, with wonderful massaging hands and feet - and a comfy massage bed. And today, I had one of the best yoga sessions ever. So something worked!!